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Couples Therapy FAQ

Do you accept insurance for couples therapy? 

Yes. There is no difference in the the plans that I accept. I may encourage you to contact your insurance company to be sure they cover it. If you want to get out ahead of that, the billing code is 90847. You can call and ask what your financial responsibilities are for that service.

Do you offer consultations?

Yes. You can book one through Alma:

https://secure.helloalma.com/providers/tanya-parker/

If we're doing a consultation for couples therapy, you both need to be there. I won't do a consultation with just one of you.  Be aware, that I may ask you to talk after our consultation about how it went before we commit to moving forward. It is helpful for you both to be certain that it's a good fit and I don't want to put you on the spot during the consultation. During the consultation, you can expect that I will ask you about your history as a couple, any treatment history (both individual and as a couple), and what you're looking to work on in therapy. I will talk about how couples therapy works and what you can expect.

Do you offer flexible hours for couples therapy?

As of January 1, 2025, I am switching from offering weekend sessions to limited evening sessions. I will be offering some evening availability on Thursday. There are also 4pm slots on other days. If you have a specific scheduling need, you can certainly still reach out. If you're looking for a short term course of treatment, I may be able to make it work for you even if it is outside of my typical hours.

Do you accept anyone who requests services? 

No. I do not work with couples where one or more party is reluctant or resistant. You must both/all be enthusiastically participating in this. If I think at any time that that has changed, I will ask about it. Couples therapy, in my opinion, doesn't work if you're no longer invested in relationship repair.

 

There are also times when my clinical opinion is that couples therapy would not be beneficial until one/both/all parties have addressed their individual mental health needs. It is not possible to do productive couples therapy when one or more parties is  unstable in terms of their mental health. I also may refer you elsewhere if there are defined gender roles or gender expectations that are inflexible and unhelpful to the relationship. More on that in the next question...

What is Feminist Therapy as it relates to Couples Therapy?

This is an extremely important part of working with me. Please read carefully. I am a feminist therapist. This means that the way that oppression exists in our world and impacts our mental health and relationships is often at the forefront of my treatment. I talk with patients all the time about how they're impacted by sexism, gender roles, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, etc. It's not always the focus but it's always an underlying thread. The same goes for couples therapy. The impact of gender roles, in particular, is going to come up in sessions if there is inequality. Given that I do most of my work with queer couples, the impact of gender roles is generally less but not non-existent. If you are seeking my services as a heterosexual couple, I ask that you consider whether both of you are capable of examining the gender roles in your relationship. Power differentials often come up and I will not shy away from those topics. It is not uncommon for cisgender heterosexual males to struggle when encouraged to confront their privilege or the way that they think about gender roles in therapy. Basically, if you're not looking for a very progressive provider, I am not for you.

Are you going to assign homework?

Maybe. Usually the homework is to start doing relationship check ins, communication exercises, or to start spending more time together by going on date nights. It's not generally something you won't want to do. However, the most important thing with couples therapy is that you're changing your behavior outside of the therapy space. Just showing up every week or two and talking to me isn't going to solve all your problems. You have to be willing to try something new when you're at home together.

Do you work with people who have a history of intimate partner violence? 

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Do you do sex therapy? 

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While I am sex positive and comfortable talking about sex and sexuality, I am not a trained sex therapist. There is a difference between a sex positive therapist and a trained sex therapist. If your reason for coming to therapy is primarily due to unhealthy or unmanageable sexual behavior, I would be practicing beyond my scope of training if I worked with you so I will refer you elsewhere. If you are looking for a sex therapist, you can find one here: https://www.aasect.org/  

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That being said, I can, and often do, provide general guidance as it relateds to improving physical intimacy. If the issue is of a clinical nature, as in a sexual dysfunction or severe trauma, you'd be better suited finding someone who specializes. If issues with physical intimacy are just one of several reasons that you're seeking couples therapy, and not the primary one, we're going to be fine.

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If there has ever been any physical violence or explosive behavior (punching walls, etc) in your relationship, then I would not feel comfortable moving forward with services. You can still reach out to me though and I will help you find someone who can offer direction on how to move forward.

What can we expect from the first session? 

The first session is about an hour. I will ask you a lot of questions about your individual backgrounds, mental health histories, and your history as a couple. I will ask about what's going well for you, why you love each other, why you want to work on this relationship, and how and why conflicts arise in your relationship. Usually, the first session is not a space to get into long standing disagreements or sore spots. It's mostly information gathering and treatment planning. 

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